Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow. Dorothy Thompson

Although we may not understand it at the time, everything in life happens for a reason. At the heart of everything that happens is learning, growth, and evolution. That’s such an important and key thing to understand that I’m going to repeat it “Everything we experience helps us to grow, learn and evolve”. Bearing in mind we are all a part of the All That Is, when we grow and evolve, so too does Collective Consciousness/The All That Is.

What prompted me to write today’s thought was an excellent television programme I watched last night about Mo Mowlam. For those who do not know, Mo was an MP who became the Secretary of State for Northern Ireland back in the 90s when New Labour were elected as the British Government. This was the time when the IRA and Sinn Fein were still actively causing violence and destruction and Mo was sent over to Northern Ireland to broker peace – which she did. Relax now as this is not going to be a political broadcast I promise.

At the same time, Mo was told she had a brain tumour and had to deal with the outcomes of that and the radiotherapy. Rather than just sit back and wait for the inevitable, Mo used the illness to drive herself and motivate herself to do what she needed to do. Some might say she was unscrupulous in her use of her wig to gain the advantage during the peace talks! However, pulling her wig off didn’t cause anyone to get hurt and, if she hadn’t lost her hair she wouldn’t have been able to use the removal of her wig to help break down barriers.

Later on, it becomes clear that Mo may well have had her tumour for many years before it became known. Further, the tumour itself affected her behaviour and her personality – what she went through on finding that out was distress about knowing who she really was. What was really “Mo Mowlam” and what was really “tumour” in terms of her personality.

The point here is not about political leanings and views, but about understanding the key thing behind the story. If Mo hadn’t had tumour, would she really have been able to do what she needed to do? Who knows. The long and short of it is, she became aware of it, and dealt with it. Sure there were times when I’m sure she felt dreadful physically, mentally, and emotionally because of it, but that didn’t stop her. She used it to her advantage rather than just giving up and moaning about it.

This kind of story can make you think about your own life and the things that you’re dealing with. Are they really as bad as all that, that you give up? Or will you accept what is, try to change what you can, and keep heading towards the things that you really want? Hindsight is a wonderful thing if used correctly. It can help you see where in your life major things have happened that, at the time, were quite traumatic, but in the long-term actually benefited you, your life, and the lives of those around you in positive ways.

It’s worth reflecting upon your own life right now and the things you’re dealing with. What is the learning for you? How can you use it to push yourself forward and be the best you that you can be?

Think of a time when you met someone you really like and admire. It could be recently, it could be some time ago, but think back to that meeting. Think about how you were feeling when you spoke to that person. Picture it in your head if you can. What did they say that made you feel good? What did they do that made you feel good? It might just be that you enjoy being in their company and feel comfortable, safe, happy, and peaceful while they’re near you.

It’s wonderful to feel like that because of being around someone else isn’t it. But here’s the thing…. All the other person is really doing, is reflecting back to you that comforting, beautiful light that you have yourself. What we look for in others is what we actually see in ourselves, whether or not we realise that. That’s why we sometimes get cross with someone – because we experience them doing something that, deep down, we can sometimes see in ourselves.

What we look for in others is mostly an unconscious thing. Unless we actively choose to live in the Now (i.e. in the present moment) we float through life automatically looking for things in others that we see in ourselves. Like attracts like. The more we see the good things in others, the more they reflect back to us the good things we see in ourselves. Ultimately, meaning we focus more on the good things and magnify them, shrinking and dissolving the “bad” things so they no longer exist.

There really are no such things as “bad” things – although I know there are some who will read this and completely disagree. Fear isn’t a bad thing – it’s just very unhelpful. Everything we do has different outcomes. Some are helpful, others are unhelpful – that doesn’t make them bad – just different. The more we love ourselves and shine our light, the more we dissolve the fears within us and our lives. Standing in our own power and light we see that reflected in those we meet for, remember, we are ALL a part of the same thing. Therefore, the beautiful Light and warmth you see in others, is also in you!

It’s worth making a note of the things you notice in other people that you admire and that make you feel good. The more you notice them in others, the more you can notice them in yourself. Especially when you remind yourself “The people I meet mirror the beautiful Light within me – and so that is all I will look for”.

When I was very young, my sister and I used to listen to a record (an LP… so quite a long time ago!) which was an adventure story about Noddy and Big Ears for children. The story was based on the lines of Noddy feeling self confident and being proud of who he was. However, he took it too far and became quite arrogant which resulted in his head swelling so much that his hat wouldn’t fit. He was rude to people because he wanted them to see how clever he was. His friends offered to help him but at first he ignored them and told them he didn’t need their help. Eventually he found that returning to school was the only thing he could do to learn that others were just as clever as he, albeit in slightly different ways. Eventually Noddy realised how over-proud he’d been and his head reduced to its normal size meaning he could wear his hat again.

I hope you enjoyed that little story ☺ Now the lesson here for Noddy was to learn humility and not be arrogant. There are also elements here of not comparing ourselves with others and judging them (and ourselves) negatively.

Whilst it is not helpful to be arrogant and overly-proud, neither is it helpful to be so humble as to disrespect all the things we have achieved. It’s OK to feel good about yourself and the things that you have achieved. As the quote by Marianne Wiliamson suggests, when we love and respect ourselves (honestly and without arrogance) we help others to see that they can do that too. If we keep putting ourselves down not only does it make us feel bad, and not only are we giving others permission to do the same to us, we’re also showing them that it’s OK to that to themselves too! Children watch their parents and guardians and emulate their behaviour. If we cannot love and respect ourselves how on earth can we expect those we teach, and those around us to love and respect themselves and us as well?

At the start of each year many of us make New Year’s Resolutions, or define goals, aims, achievements for the forthcoming year. As part of that process it’s good to have milestones in place so you can track your progress and see how far you’ve come. It’s also good to build in treats and rewards (or whatever you prefer to call them) as well. If you don’t honour yourself and the steps you’ve taken so, can you really expect to achieve what you set out to?

If you feel you’ve done a good job it’s OK to feel good about it. If you’re pleased with something you’ve achieved, or a situation you’ve handled, or someone you’ve helped, etc, etc, that’s OK! It’s even OK to talk to people about it… where it becomes unhelpful is when that’s the only thing you talk about and when you start thinking you are better than everyone else. It’s not a case of “being better than others”, it’s about loving and respecting yourself for the journey you’re on and the wonderful steps forward you are taking.

Be aware of how you speak to yourself when you’ve done something that, if someone else had done it, you’d have congratulated them. Remember, the more you love and respect yourself, the more you give permission to others to do the same for themselves and for you.

For many people, the New Year brought with it goals, aims, objectives, and dreams which they want to achieve by the end of the year and beyond. The first few days everything goes well with lots of “feeling good” emotions going on which provides the driving force to achieve what they want. However, we’re getting to a crucial time where the initial “drive” can begin to wane somewhat, especially when it comes to things like giving up smoking or losing weight.

Let me take you back to when you were learning to ride a bike or learning to swim, or even learning to walk! Have you ever watched a baby learning to walk? They just keep on trying – no matter how many times they fall over, they just get up and try again. Even if they get hurt falling over and have a cry, they still carry on trying. Why do you think that is? Partly to do with a hereditary push to walk, no one has told the child to stop learning or that it’s “too difficult so give up”.

As we grow up, we learn that there are certain things that we don’t have to do to live but if we did them we’d probably be a lot happier. At school we learned things because we were told to and because we knew that, if we didn’t, we’d either get into trouble or not get good results in exams etc. At work we do our work because we know if we don’t we’ll get told off or potentially fired. Do you see the link here? Very often in our lives we’ve done things and kept at them because we’ve feared what the consequences might be if we don’t. So when it comes to our personal lives there isn’t this fear and so it’s easier to “give up”.

So for the things you want to achieve, let us look at it another way. Do we really need to be motivated by fear to get things done? Can we not be motivated by other means instead? Such as feeling fantastic when we’ve done what we wanted to do? Such as feeling the relief when we see how our bank balance has improved? Such as feeling the joy when we can fit into that pair of jeans that have been sitting in the wardrobe for 2 years gathering dust? And so on.

Now is a crucial time for keeping on going. Results aren’t always necessarily obvious at first and that can be a bit disheartening. That’s why focusing on all the good things that will happen as a result of your having done what you said you’d do can really help keep you motivated. Every January I stop drinking alcohol for the whole month, and I also give something up during lent. Neither of these are particularly focused on anything religious or being healthy for me. In my case I do it to prove to myself that I can achieve anything I want if I just keep going.

So while you’re thinking about your aims and dreams for this year, start writing down what it will look like when you’ve achieve it. What will you hear said about you and what will you say? How will you feel? What will success taste and smell like? Keep this near you for those moments when you feel like giving in. Talk to others to help keep yourself motivated and so on. One last thing to remember, it’s just when we’re about to give up that things either get easier or are about to be achieved. As Kate Bush sings:

“Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not beaten yet
Don't give up
I know you can make it good”

So believe in yourself, keep on going, and know that, at the end of the day, you are worth investing your time and effort into – never forget that. Oh and one other last thing… it only takes about 21 days to make something into a habit

There are particular periods of the year when we start to think about what we want to achieve in life. Such as a birthday where we realise we’re another year older and perhaps haven’t yet done all the things we thought we’d have done by that time. Or perhaps New Year, where we “resolve to do better” at some things and “resolve to give up” others.

Goals, aims, ambitions, and dreams are all brilliant ways of helping to give ourselves direction and motivation in our lives. They’re a way of giving us things to work towards and a good way of seeing how far we’ve come when we go back and review them. Remember though, it is the journey to the end that is just as important as reaching the final destination – if not more so. And, of course, there is no “final destination” per se. When we reach one end point, it is just the beginning point of another journey.

So aims are good things. Aren’t they? If they’re set by you because you want to achieve them then yes, absolutely. If they’re set by others because that’s what they think you should be doing perhaps they’re not so helpful. It’s very easy for others to stand outside of your life and your experience and tell you what you should or should not be doing. We are all different and our paths vary from person to person – whether or not that seems obvious to us. We all have a slightly different model of the world and how it should be run and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, because it means we get diversity of views and so can embrace the best of the best to make this world a much more wonderful place to live in.

However, when it comes to setting aims and goals, all too often we feel the pressure of society, our family, friends, or peers telling us things that they think would be good for us. “You should give up smoking”, “You should lose a bit of weight”, “You should be more helpful around the home”, “You should learn to be more assertive” (Oh the irony at that last statement!). And the common word in all those “resolutions” is, of course, “should”. When I hear that word sometimes I find it hard not to go “aaaaaaaaargh”!

So what should we do instead of listening to shoulds? My answer to that is, do what feels right to you and what you want to do and not what other people think you “should” do! Decide what your goals, aims, dreams, and achievements are by what you (and yes I do mean YOU) want. If you want to give up smoking then set a workable aim to do so. If you want to shed some excess weight and become fitter, do it because you know it will make you feel good when you’ve achieved it. If you want to be more on time for things do it because you can see how it will benefit you and those around you. Do none of these things “because that’s what you do at the beginning of each year” or “because you really should”, or “because it would make other people happy”.

Now you may think there’s a selfish theme running through these ponderings. And you’d be right! How on earth can you expect to help others be happy if you’re not happy in your own skin or with what you’re working towards? Better to choose aims and dreams that make you happy and motivate you than choose goals that you procrastinate over, get angry about, and/or drag your heals kicking and screaming to the end. Life was meant to be about joy, happiness, creation, expansion, beauty, sharing, and love – God didn’t make life hard for us, we do that ourselves!